Remember2smile

Lately I've been emotionally confused. I'm just trying to sort out all of my feelings, with hopes to...make sense of life as it is now. With all that has happened, it has left me emotionally distressed and I just really want to get it all figured out before I dive into any future endeavors.

It's a lot of work but I get the feeling I'm going to be okay. I just need to remember to step back, take a breath, and smile.

Today was a good day. I'm always in good company when my mains are around. Had a lot of laughs and good moments. They're really good at distracting me, I love them for that.

I found my smile. It was right under my nose, I just forgot it was there.

Chill pill.

Taking a break from social networking (in other words, Tumblr and Facebook). I figured it was time to pause and take a step back to enjoy what's already around me. I realized that this is my last summer home before leaving for college and I don't want to waste it in front of a computer screen absorbed in social drama. It's time to take a chill pill and relax instead of obsessing over pixels on a screen.

I have a lot planned for this summer and I'm excited to get it rolling. Today, I set up a home theater in my room with the help of a white tablecloth, push pins and Stephen's projector. It's so boss! Super chillax, just how I like it.
Tomorrow I'm going to SF with Andy and Court. Time to do some shoppinggg! (: I lalalove SF; I'm going to miss it so much when I leave. I'm sure LA (much less Riverside) doesn't even surmount to how amazing San Francisco is. Apparently the air here is cleaner too. o-O

On Tuesday, Jen, Court, Andy and I are going to Six Flags. Man I haven't been there in forever and I'm super stoked to venture like a mofo. Parental-free day + fat roller coasters + season passes + nothing but time and of course, FUNNEL CAKE! Ahh I can't wait. This week is going to be great. (:

Not sure what I'm doing Wednesday and Thursday but I'm pretty sure I'm either going to be out and about or chillin at home watching bootleg movies on my ghettoly brilliant home theater. HAHA. Friday I'm going to the Rites of Passage rehearsal then a bonfire at Ocean Beach...that should be interesting to say the very least.

Hopefully Manny schedules a fingerprinting appointment with me soon so I can figure out all the details for when I start work. I'm praying to Buddha that it doesn't conflict with my plans otherwise I'll be utterly upset.

Anywhoo, my hiatus is doing great things for me. I cleaned my room, cooked breakfast out of scratch, cleaned the house and did my laundry all in two days. I'm thoroughly impressed with myself haha.

My birthday's in 2 weeks. I'm going to be legal...SCORE! This summer's starting off on a good note, I'm anxious to see how the rest of it goes. (:

Oh, and I currently have 2386 PTZ on Lockerz. HELLO MACBOOK PRO, YOU WILL BE MINE! (;

'Tis all.

P.S. HI ANYTHONG PHAMACY! I was surprised when I saw your comment on my post. It's good to know you still use blogger. (: I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!<3

Memory.

Is it really that hard for me to forget the past? Because no matter how hard I seem to try, it doesn't work. Those feelings associated with these moments bare the emotional vulnerability I once felt. He had that effect on me.

It's amazing how in a matter of months, I fell so hard for someone I never thought I'd fall for. And in the end, I got my heart broken. It's an endless cycle. A cycle that won't leave me alone. Why did I fall so hard for this kid? Wait no, I know exactly why. The real question is why can't I fully let him go? I've moved on but for some reason there's still a small part of me that's shaken when I see anything that reminds me of him or when people mention his name. It's frustrating because I keep thinking about him. These memories keep flooding back--good and bad. UGH. I must stop this. I have to rise above this, show him that it's not affecting me because it sure as hell seems like he's not phased by this one bit. Mothereff. Why are you so good at suppressing your emotions?! asdjfa;sjd; You and your damn perfected mask. I can't show weakness otherwise that means I lose and being the stubborn person that I am, I hate losing. It's pathetic. Whoever cares more loses right? Well I'm going to bring the score to a tie. I want nothing more than to free myself from everything you once were to me. If there's one thing you taught me, it's how to be apathetic. Time to put my gameface on.

Man I can't wait until college.